Several years ago, author G. Bruce Boyer wrote that children once dressed like their parents but today the situation is reversed. Indeed, who among us has not lost count of the number of times he's heard someone mention that their restaurant meal was made considerably less pleasant by a group of inappropriately dressed diners at the next table? And that's just inconsiderate in my book. Dressing for an occasion is basic politeness to others who have done the same.
Dress of course is cultural. What men wear is different around the world and none of us should expect everyone else to dress as we do. It's the standard of care that I'm writing about. It's possible that a man can eat a holiday dinner with his friends or relations wearing a sleeveless t-shirt, sweat pants and flip-flops without much risk of imprisonment, but he impoverishes the lives of everyone around him.
Dress of course is cultural. What men wear is different around the world and none of us should expect everyone else to dress as we do. It's the standard of care that I'm writing about. It's possible that a man can eat a holiday dinner with his friends or relations wearing a sleeveless t-shirt, sweat pants and flip-flops without much risk of imprisonment, but he impoverishes the lives of everyone around him.
This holiday season, emulate the men in the illustration. Dress better than the prevailing community standard.
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And when-- not if-- the inevitable "Why are you all dressed up?" comes your way, give them a big smile and reply:
"Because I'm worth it." :)
This goes for cultural events also. I went to an opera performance this fall (in Cerritos, California); most of the men were dressed in sportscoats, with sweaters or ties. Many of us wore a suit. Two "rebels" showed up in t-shirts and shorts. I thought they looked like village idiots, wandering in by chance.
Hear...Hear....Will....well said.
“sleeveless t-shirt, sweat pants and flip-flops”
But does it have to be a clean t-shirt?
And thanks for another great illustration!
Michael B.,
I like Glen O'Brian's response to that question, in one of his columns in GQ. "Because, I have somewhere much more spectacular to be then here, afterwards."
I'm paraphrasing, Glen, if you are reading.
Well said!
While not attempting to be William Safire, I must note that your utilization of the word impoverished is incorrect. It would seem that it is not only dress that impacts those around us, but also education and intellect.
"You can dress them up, but you still cannot take them out."
Noone is mistaking you for Safire. Feel free to explain your objection to the use of impoverishes.
By following this advice, it can rub off. This past Thanksgiving I wore a suit. Well in excess of the typical family gathering. I knew so but liked the very Fall look of the suit and tie that I chose. I realized I'd worn the same thing the year before. The difference this year is that 4 others who had been a part of the meal 2 years ago wore ties this year.
As usual, I disagree with O'Brien, who writes for what is one of the very worst (post Art Cooper) publications in the world. His suggestion (and some others in this thread) presupposes that being well dressed requires explanation.
Instead, I'd offer this response from one of my favorite TV shows: 30 Rock.
When asked why he's wearing evening wear when he isn't going anywhere in particular, Alec Baldwin offers the perfect response:
Jack: We'll get to your problem in a minute. Have you had a chance to think of my zinger?
Liz Lemon: [exasperated] "Well, it's almost Thanksgiving, everybody, and I know what this crowd's giving thanks for: estate tax reform!"
Jack: HAHAHAA! That is terrific! I really enjoyed that. But do you think it's too topical? Damn, I wish this event were tonight.
Liz Lemon: It's not tonight? When is it?
Jack: February.
Liz Lemon: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after 6! What am I, a farmer?
That I think is the proper response. Don't even acknowledge that you're "overdressed" or doing anything that should induce a comment.
I have to respectfully disagree with you on this one, Will. Though I accept the premise of the title, I can't agree that I am affected much by the sartorial choices of others. Let them follow their muse, and I'll follow mine. And if all your friends are really griping about "inappropriately dressed diners", I have to opine that that's a "West Coast thing". And please, no hillbilly jokes because I'm from Tennessee. :-)
Unfortunately, standards are dropping. You wrote that it is inconsiderate in your book. Taking this a bit literally, didn't mention in a previous post that you are writing a book?
Of course your post is well-met. But what I like best is the picture in which the men are in the kitchen -- helping!
You suggest that we "emulate the men in the illustration," but one of the guys is sitting on the kitchen counter top. Yep, finely dressed Slim has his slender ass atop a surface meant for preparing and serving food. Nice.
One good reason not to move to
(or to leave) Southern California
Could someone please tell me what's wrong with Will's use of "impoverish". My dictionaries say: "to deprive of richness", "to make something worse in quality"
@Richard,
Indeed, I have often noticed the subtle disconnect between dress and manners of those who prefer the armor of the former to hide the absence of the latter, and furthermore, I know of quite a few households where it would be terribly rude to wear one's shoes indoors. I suppose this is only another reason to find some fabulous socks to blend with one's outfit.
Ah, Richard... don't you notice the young lass? She, too has her slender ass (thank god!) on the table.
It's a great picture. Not unlike today's advertisements. Perhaps less gratuitous sex and vulgarity than today's standard. A guy is opening a bottle of wine, while the other 2 are joking with him. Looks perfectly normal to me.
What's the big debate here? Dress up! It's the holidays. Have fun with friends and families. Thank God you have them.
You can dress like a slob the rest of the year if you want to.
I too have to disagree. While I think it is disrespectful to dress egregiously inappropriately (especially when there are specific instructions), I can't imagine how someone else dressing poorly would "ruin" my experience.
At worst, it would give me something to laugh about.
Thanksgiving is around the corner, this post needs a well deserved mention.
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