Town & Country magazine has its Weddings issue this month, and wedding planners rejoice for the start of the season. That means it is timely to discuss the question of what should be worn to these events, particularly in the United States where our heterogenous mix of cultures has left us at the mercy of those same wedding planners due to our lack of a common tradition.
Fortunately for the length of this essay, today we address only the clothing of the male guests at a wedding and not the much more complex choices that face the bride about the wedding party itself. And the choices are complex, for there are essentially three styles of weddings held at two times of day, and the wedding party should wear different clothing for each of them. But, as I wrote, we will only concern ourselves here with the dress of the male guests.
Ignoring time of day, for the dress of the guests does not generally need to change with the time, the three styles of weddings form a pyramid. The broad base at the bottom is the informal event where the bride wears something less traditional than a wedding dress. These are the most difficult events to characterize and one can only recommend a telephone call to the bride or her mother to determine what she will be wearing. For it could be awkward to appear in a necktie when the bride will be in denim, and here in California if not all across the continent one should never assume any level of formality greater than is offered by the products of Levi Strauss & Co.
That said, the top of the wedding pyramid is a formal wedding like that in the illustration, a level of formality that most men never encounter in their lifetimes. The bride wears a long dress, the groom and his party wear formal or semi-formal clothing, and the guests wear lounge suits if there are no strollers already hanging in their closets. Eschew dinner clothes unless the event begins after 6PM.
Navy blue solid suitings are best for events that will continue into the evening, with black shoes, a silver wedding tie, and the three whites, as I like to think of them. Those being the white shirt collar, a white linen handkerchief in the jacket pocket and a white gardenia or carnation as a buttonhole. The last is important as it is the principal remaining item worn by the guests that differentiates the wedding day from an ordinary one.
Between the formality of the long dress and the informality of anything goes is the short white wedding dress event. And here the guests can confidently wear those same navy blue suits, perhaps with a less formal necktie and, during the day, a colored dress shirt. The white pocket square and white buttonhole remain the same.
Whatever the type of wedding, it is important to remember that we are guests of the bride's parents, and it is the bride's day. A suit honors both the occasion and the hosts as we wish the bride and groom a long and happy life together. And by thinking of these things in the depths of winter, we have time to acquire the proper clothing.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
What Shall We Wear to Your Wedding?
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13 comments:
I certainly would like to locate a tie in the large houndstooth pattern as worn by the taller gentleman with the blue ground shirt. I've searched for a while with no results.
My brothers and I all had strollers made for my wedding, grey three piece one button suits with just a little more cut-away, with an extra pair of striped pants.
Will,
I enjoyed reading this article. The summary offered insight into the appropriateness of formal wedding attire while not discussing its integral component e.g., waist coat and trouser fabrics. I look forward with much anticipation to such a report.
Cheers.
Will, great post. I'd love to see your thoughts on wedding attire for the groom and the male members of the bridal party.
Could someone please define what a a silver wedding tie is?
Great post, but darn I may have been a bit off last summer, though perhaps not in relation to the casually dressed male guests. A blistering hot day in the San Joaquin Valley. Noon wedding that did not go into the evening. I wore a silver gray worsted with a faint pinstripe, instead of plain navy. Oh, well. Most men had khakis or some such.
I take it from what you say that any guests outside the wedding party would not wear morning dress to even the swankiest wedding in the USA.
Will,
Although I know you have a bias against black suits and maybe it is more appropriate to wear navy blue. That being said, the fact is people wear black to weddings. When I say "people" I reckon to guess 95% of the general population. Now that doesn't make it right, but look at every single wedding magazine. Care to comment? Are you saying the majority of people are getting it wrong?
Yes, they are wrong.
K-Dog,
Most of the people who own and wear black suits are fashion victims. Having said that, I see two occasions when a black suit may be acceptable:
1. If it is a patterned black suit, then one may wear it in the daytime to one's job, where others may be similarly attired.
2. If it is a plain black suit, then a young man may wear it for going out in the evening. This harkens back to black (and even white) tie as appropriate evening wear, but updated for the modern day.
Other than that, I can see no use for them, and would never recommend their purchase. Black suits are, as Will might put it, neither fish nor fowl.
Black suits seem to be like some guilty pleasure -- some men interested in such things (e.g., readers of ASW or AAAC) know they shouldn't do it, but they do anyway, and then try to convince everyone else it's OK. Ask Andy's forums are full of proponents of the black suit, even though navy and/or gray are much more flattering for *most* men. Not sure why there is such resistance to sage advice. The only explanation I can think of is that we're seeing more and more mens' fashion "experts" in the popular media are women, and, of course black is very much in favor for women's clothes.
The last wedding I attended (late afternoon), I wore a navy double breasted suit, white spread collar and a gray bowtie that had small blue dots (I don't wear neckties, except at funerals), with a white carnation, and got many complements, although equally many thought I was part of the wedding party since so few of the guests had on suits.
Will,
I have just recently found your website and have greatly enjoyed reading it.
I have two questions:
1. I was once told that 6pm was the most formal of wedding times but everything I've read differs. Is this true?
2. Is a 6pm wedding considered after 6 or would 6:01 be the beginning of after 6?
Charley,
I have always thought that the tie you refer to is a shepherd's check, but the resolution of the scan makes it impossible to tell.
Since the shepherd's check (a.k.a. gingham) is an acceptable wedding tie pattern, you should be able to find a tie in that pattern. I lucked out earlier this year and found just such a tie, in a large navy and white check. Unfortunately, it was made in China for Tommy Hilfiger, so it's not a quality piece, but I'm still happy to have it.
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