Men should always be unaccompanied while shopping for their own clothing, in my opinion. On the best of days, shopping companions merely distract sellers who should be giving their attention entirely to you.
This advice applies tenfold to men who are in a relationship with a woman. In my experience, members of the opposite sex believe that XX chromosones impart innate expertise about men's clothing. And no man should be forced to listen to advice from someone who might cause her companion to dress as actor Robert Downey did at the Oscar ceremonies recently.
It is after all difficult, if not impossible, for a man to make considered decisions about clothing while accompanied by a loved one who is convinced that she knows better than he what looks good on him, and which places he should patronize. For nothing can come of that but black suits, or worse.
Always shop alone.
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In that case, the chief costumer for Robert Downey, Jr. in Sherlock Holmes must have brought a gaggle of people along when shopping for the wardrobe. It was shameful that he was the worst-dressed individual in all of the created Victorian London.
Very good insight into the woman's psyche! Women know nothing about men's clothing, think they know it all & force you to buy, or do buy terrible things! I have a few ties which are horribly inappropriate - all of them thanks to women.
Will,
I noticed that this post appeared in its entirety in my feed reader, and that's a change from what you've been doing in the past. If this was intended, I appreciate it. If it wasn't, please consider making it so.
Thanks for wonderful reading.
You make a case for why people shouldn't shop with people who think they know more about what's being shopped for than they actually do, but you have yet to make a case for why people should shop alone, always.
You obviously don't think all women (or all women who are dating a man) fit that category, because that would be stupid.
So crude stereotypes aside, what's your actual argument for why men (of any sexual orientation, if you want to be universal about it) should shop alone?
Amen,
This year something is "just fabulous", next year it's "simply hideous"...what changed? I'll bet a lot of our youthful closets had burnable items that brought back pleasant memories of clothes...being shed.
I'm a little confused by this post because I don't understand how Robert Downey Jr. wearing running shoes with a suit relates to shopping alone.
In my experience, no sane, style concious significant other would let a man do that unless they were headed to senior prom. That has more to do with leaving the house than shopping though.
I think people need to have a back up pair of eyes to spot the things that we can't when we shop alone. Shopping is a personal thing so we tend to fall in love with items that might be terrible on us. Having a clerk/friend/other there can help most men make better decisions because frankly, most of us are clueless.
I only shop alone because I'm confident in my ability to make wise decisions and how I can pair new things with what I own. I'm also honest enough to know when things don't work but many men can't do either of those things.
I do find this post interesting and agree with you if you're speaking about fashion concious men.
I think women have "Tie Envy." Think about it. Ties are long, thin, colorful, and they don't have one...so they want to control ours.
I'll never wear a tie someone else has selected for me...except maybe James Baker (the politician). I think he wears the best ties.
Well stated and incontrovertible! Add Hollyweird, product placements and publicists to the stew and the result is preordained.
I actually enjoy shopping with women, just to watch them come into their own in their natural habitat: shops, stores, boutiques, outlets, malls, etc.. This is where they shine.
The dedication, focus, and look of delight that erupt on a woman's face when she is on the hunt for something to buy are worth it, to me. I love watching them.
When it comes to my own wardrobe, however, I take a different approach, in that I think a woman's opinion on men's clothing is useful insofar as one takes it as a contrarian indicator.
Samir, the full feed is an experiment. The challenge with it for me is that readers who don't come to the site are not part of the audience for my advertisers, and they do pay to keep the site going. But I needed to provide a full feed to Amazon for the Kindle and we will see what happens.
Stacey, "On the best of days, shopping companions merely distract sellers who should be giving their attention entirely to you."
As someone who is red/green colorblind (more accurately color deficient) it is helpful to have someone who can tell me what secondary colors are in a tie or other accessory, so they can be better coordinated with secondary colors in my suits.
Frequently, though, these items can be purchased alone and then brought home for the question- "which suits does this tie work best with?"
Unfortunately, I am one of the 8% of Caucasian men who are red-green color blind.
My wife comes along to help insure I don't purchase another pair of green pants when I wanted tan.
Although I would have to say that I think Downey's outfit is less "what she said" and more "I'm NOT getting older, I'm NOT getting older"...etc.
I would extend the remarks in favor of shopping alone to include male friends who are clueless about the finer points of clothing and what the better stuff costs. I have a dear friend who I have known since age six and lives in New York. When I visit he often wants to go shopping with me because he values my opinion. He, on the other hand, is a hindrance. My friend is an odd case. A recently retired academic, he wears H&K shirts, has a bespoke suit from Strickland that may be forty years old, bemoans the closing of Alan MC Afee, and thinks that any jacket with Harris Tweed label, even if it has the hand of fiberboard and hangs like a HASMAT suit, is a superior garment. Think Dunn sport coat. If he is along, I am more docent that shopper, having to offer a running explanation of everything I consider and to weigh its' wider implications.
I can take both sides of this argument.
On the one hand, I have long shopped alone, mainly of necessity: there was no one to go with me. Early on, I learned what colors suited me, and I developed my personal sense of style. Later, when I did start shopping with women other than my mother, I found their comments to be of little help, though they occasionally brought something interesting my way.
In the first few years of my marriage, I learned to shop with my wife, and for a while, we became so dependent on each others' input that we could barely shop alone! As a result of our mutual feedback, I think we both developed a better sense of what works for us and can now shop alone again, but can also shop together, without the downfalls that Will correctly observes are all-too-common when men shop with women.
What is it with women and black suit or black pants......my bride once talked my into getting a pair of black pants which lasted about three weeks in my wardrobe before dispatch to the thrift store....whenever I put them on felt like a bus conductor.....I feel rather the same about blue pants.
an interesting post ... and comments! First, let me say that I am somewhat disappointed the post didn't say making wardrobe purchases could be a reminder of that women/relationship long after they are gone ... and who wants souvenirs from love gone awry?
Secondly, though, I think you need to consider the source ... as in that particular woman, not women in general. If she is a trend hound, then yeah, you will be steered towards tight rolling your jeans but if she understands the classic lines and how to make a man's physique -- and that particular man's best features shine, then I think you will be missing out by heeding this post's advice.
@Laguna Beach Trad I enjoyed your perspective immensely on watching women shop. It's spot on! So the question is ... have you ever experienced that with woman who lights up as she finds the perfect for you?
style is bout having flair and not giving a damn. A perfectly knotted tie means little if the person is not free and easy.Downey looks at home. Also it depends what woman you take. Some good, some bad, like men eh?
thank god someone said it!!! Too many times have I seen a man shop, pick out all of these great things and then his wife comes and ruins everything and he ends up buying crap. Men need to confidence to pick out what they like and what feels comfortable for them!
http://the-shoe-snob.blogspot.com/
This is one post that I wholeheartedly disagree with. When you shop, it generally isn't alone. There are sales people, at the very least, happy to share their opinion. I like to go shopping with someone that I know well and who's able to point out the clothing I should avoid.
I definitely don't need the help for most items, but things like hats, I tend to get hats that don't quite look right or look a bit goofy. My spouse is a poor choice, in this case – she's great at pants and shoes – but I have a female friend with a great eye who is really picky about hats on herself and others. She's steered me away from plenty and help me choose a few great things.
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