Just as some men find it difficult to feel relaxed in their clothes, some men feel that they should not be interested in their clothes in the first place and, like de Balzac’s ‘beast’, they just cover themselves. I suppose that they do have a kind of authority on their side, including Hardy Amies, with his dictum about choosing one’s clothes with intelligence, putting them on with care and then forgetting all about them but the trouble is that these men miss out the first two stages.
The fear seems to be for a man to seem to be interested in his own clothes. This fear is often put about and enforced by couch potatoes who ask for nothing more from life than to watch football on the television, with a twelve pack of pilsner beer, muttering, in defence of their idleness, that this is what real men do and real men do not care about clothes; real men don’t dance, and real men certainly don’t cry.
Let’s think about it in reverse order: if we accept that Sir Winston Churchill was a real man, then there is an example of a real man who often burst into tears, even on public platforms. If real men don’t dance, what was George Raft doing (and doing superbly well), with Carole Lombard, in the film Rumba?
If real men don’t care about clothes, what are Muhammad Ali and Manny Pacquiao doing dressing as they do?
Accordingly, let the couch potatoes sneer as they like. They sneer because they want to avoid full engagement in the act of living and their condemning of certain activities enables them: first, to avoid the effort involved in taking part and, secondly, to keep in their quiet corners, hoping that they won’t be asked to show the world what they can do. If they (at least occasionally) actually stood up and took part in something other than the vicarious enjoyment of the sporting achievements of others, they might understand the simple pleasure to be derived from striving to achieve something worthwhile. Dressing well is a part of that striving for achievement. Come to that, knowing how to dance (even if not as well as George Raft) is worthwhile because, when the couch potatoes are wallflowers at a ‘do’, you won’t be and, while I don’t suggest bursting into tears at a tough business meeting, if someone close to you (even a well-loved pet) suddenly dies, one misses out on a part of living in stifling natural grief with a fear of feeling.
-Text by Nicholas Storey
-Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images/AFP
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12 comments:
Will, putting the authors name at the top would be much appreciated. I always find myself wondering what is wrong with you before finding at the end that it is someone else that has written it. Knowing before hand would save much confusion.
Besides, dressing well just might attract the attention of arm candy of the quality shown! Pity I didn't figure that out when I was single . . .
I agree with BJ.
@oldsarj, I think you can set your sights higher than "female Lapo Elkann" Paris Hilton.
You should still look like you didn't spend a lot of time on it. I have done a lot of work getting my wardrobe up to speed, but I still try not to look too dandy. I want people to think that I look good without really noticing it specifically, that's the balance that I walk.
Well said, Jim. the fact is that you are not afraid to think about it, though. That is my main point.
As for 'health warnings'on blogs 9JB)? C'mon guys, there are health warnings on everything these days; apart from hamburgers and French fries!
I can usually tell by the second sentence or so that it's not Will.
The quality (and range) of the writing on this blog is part of its charm.
I only recently became a daily reader but I am already beginning to recognise the different styles of Mr Storey and M de Mans before I reach the by-line at the end.
PS I agree with the sentiments Mr Storey expressed, as well as admiring his wordcraft!
Although I support the ideas presented, and am certainly a follower, I blanch a bit at the perceived snobbishness of the writer.
I believe that men who choose to dress well should lead by example; however, we should not belittle men who chose to dress with a different point of view. If we choose to insult or otherwise assume some innate superiority because of how others dress, we sink to a judgmental levels that trumps our attempts to be perceived as gentlemen.
Bottom line, dress deliberately and LIVE without care.
I am not sure that I see a link between deprecating couch potatoes (and their defeatism) and snobbery. One trouble with the modern world is that it is losing a desire to aspire and seeing those who encourage aspiration as 'snobs'.
Yes, please add the byline to the top. It's very confusing.
Mr. Storey,
Well said, although I would suggest you are too forgiving of the louts you have gingerly termed "couch potatoes." I assume you are writing from a British view; in the US those who watch football (NFL) all day would be perplexed by this thing you call Pilsner. Here the beer is "lite" so as to leave more room for chicken wings.
I would further suggest that the issue of men and clothing in this country is multi-dimensional; obesity, homophobia, a dearth of cultural heroes, lackluster education and entrenched politics all impede improvement in the appearance of the ordinary American male.
Snobbery, of course, has nothing to do with the matter.
Frederick.
Thanks you, Frederick!
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