A friend was discussing travelling tailors when he mentioned one who’d recently scheduled his London visit over a weekend, rather than during the week. My friend shook his head in disbelief and said, “Who is going to see a tailor at the weekend, when they’ll have to admit to their wife where it is they’re going?” In that moment I discovered that there is a brotherhood of men who are less than entirely honest about their shopping habits.
Everyone knows that women frequently hide their clothing purchases from their husbands, but we men are guilty of the same. Last month I mentioned to the menswear writer G. Bruce Boyer how, that morning, a rather frosty atmosphere had settled over my breakfast table after my wife inadvertently discovered that, later in the day, I was to be fitted for a new Shetland jacket by my tailor. Mr Boyer wrote back to me, “I’m sorry to hear about your Shetland. Every time my wife asks me if I’m wearing a new jacket I brush it aside with, ‘You mean this old thing? God, I’ve had it forever. I’m surprised you never noticed it before.’” He then reassured me by saying, “It’s a relatively harmless obsession, as far as obsessions go, isn’t it?”
Following this I was in a haberdasher’s last week and mentioned to the manager that I didn’t need my new ties boxed, because if they were discreetly wrapped in tissue paper and placed in my bag it would be easier to smuggle them home without attracting the attention of my wife. The manager laughed, and said, “You all do it! I used to have a customer [the manager used to work for shirt maker Emma Willis] who’d buy bespoke shirts ten at a time, but then screw them up and stuff them into a laundry bag to take them home, so that his wife wouldn’t notice.”
No wonder Mr Tom Wolfe calls it ‘The secret vice’.
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12 comments:
As St. Paul radio personality Joe Soucheray notes, there's the price you pay, the price you tell her you paid, and the price you pay when she finds out what you really paid.
I thought I was the only one!
AE
This sounds alarmingly familiar.
I typically wait until I have something to pick up from the cleaners to bring a new item home, and then smuggle it all in together.
It's really quite bad isn't it? I suppose the guilt is there for a reason and it's due to unnecessary purchases.
The first step is admitting there is a problem!
Is there a Sartorialists Anonymous for those suffering from oniomania?
Common issue.
I have everything shipped to the office. It's easy to discard the packaging there and bring home only the socks or ties rolled up in jacket pockets or bring shirts straight to the dry cleaner.
The biggest problem is shoes. I want to keep the box for shoes.
New suits cannot be hidden.
That's what the non-joint credit card is for, no? Individual purchases are obscured when the monthly bill is paid from the bank account. We operate on a DADT basis, and I encourage her to spend more on herself.
Ha. I will say no more. But you are among friends, Will.
I get the same thing—and I shop at thrift stores!
For my wife, it's not the cost as much as the clutter. Even though I keep everything well organized, to her, it's just more stuff.
I'm lucky, in a way, in that she does not share my affinity for more clothes.
OMG I'm not alone......all so true. On Saturday I purchased a magnificent large brown/blue houndstooth sportcoat from Paul Stuart (not in the sale alas). It required a minor tweak to one sleeve so will arrive by mail in about a weeks time. I'll have to keep my eyes open for the mailman. LOL. I have great cover in general however, I literally have so much stuff she can't remember what I have so once inside and the evidence of boxes etc removed I'm in the clear.
The classic blunder. Only one is worse, and that is after taking care to see that the clothes are sent to the office, the bill is sent home by mistake. They invariably come on expensive cotton rag paper of irregular shape, engraved, with an unfamiliar postmark. They practically scream "Open Me First!"
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